I don't know how to write quick posts. I have a few guesses as to why it is so troublesome for me, the main being that I'm not a skimmer: I can't stand small talk, vagueness, or surfaces. I need more...my head and heart demand it of me. When I write, it's a waterfall of gushing thoughts, a catharsis. When I go without or attempt to give just the bullet points, I feel cheated of the cleansing ritual. Yet when writing a blog, I realize that I can't always write this way, no one really wants to read lengthy insights into my persona on a daily basis, nor can I sit down and write for hours daily, not like I did in my early twenties, before my days of child rearing. I could sit for hours, writing in various notebooks or leather bound journals on campus or at the corner coffee shop, which used to be a hole in the wall but in recent years has been renovated. I went through town a few years ago on the way to Chicago and stopped in for a coffee, and it was nearly as terrible as walking into a Starbucks. Gone were the broken couches I'd study (read: nap) on with my dear old friend, Colin, in their place were these glossy tables and students on their smartphones.
So with all of that out of the way, I thought I'd give you all an update: we are wrapping up the Airstream renovations and if all goes as planned (so far we've been able to stay on schedule for the past week), we will be completely finished with the renovation one week prior to the closing date on our house. We are still in complete disbelief that the house is actually selling and we are able to close just one week before our departure date. A lot of people have said that it's all due to our hard work, others have said it's fate, or a combination of both. I'm not sure why it's happening this way, I don't know what I believe about fate or things being 'right', or if hard work can truly convince a potential buyer to fall in love with a house and put in an offer in a timely manner. All I know is it's actually happening, we are SO thankful, and our patience and hard work over the last fifteen months wasn't for nothing, it was for something, for this. We are about to travel and see so much beauty, be together, and create together.
It's a crazy, chaotic time - we wrote out our schedule last week, a calendar dated from April 14th through May 21st, the day before our proposed closing date, and then I rewrote it all in my planner, so I would have a copy with me constantly, since I don't generally use my phone very often to record important dates, I don't remember them that way and can't stand having alarms for everything. Every single day is full, and it's not just finishing the Airstream tasks any longer...we all have doctor's appointments: dentists, checkups, getting prescriptions for the next year, et cetera, veterinary appointments for our dog and cat to get their shots updated and papers for border crossings, and the overwhelming task of getting rid of everything that's still left in our house...I've sold the majority of the furniture and we're just waiting on people to come get their pieces. We're having one final yard sale this coming weekend, and whatever doesn't sell will immediately be loaded into the car and donated to two local charities that have really beautiful missions that are very close to my heart.
My dad is generously donating a week of his time and taking a vacation from work to drive down to our neck of the woods and help us finish as many Airstream tasks as possible (and hopefully get ahead of schedule and gain some peace of mind) next week, and we are so, so thankful for this. He volunteered his time last year to help ready our house for sale by doing major and minor tasks alongside me, and if we work as hard as we did last year, I have no doubt that we're going to knock some major stuff off the to-do list. We've not had much help on the Airstream, about ninety-eight percent of the work has been just Ellen and I, so whenever we do have help, we accept it and are so thankful.
We are so busy that we've barely had time to process it all...we planned to travel this summer in hopes that the house would sell and we'd be able to keep on going, but it wasn't a sure thing. We weren't expecting the house to sell in time, to be quite honest, and weren't prepared for the onslaught of extra tasks in these last weeks. There are moments where I can't help it, I pause and look around this house of ours and let the sadness and enormity of what we're about to endeavor sink in deep. Yesterday I had enough time for tears to spring to my eyes, just enough, and then I moved on. I know that the day we leave this house will be a sad one, despite the excitement of our transition to living on the road full-time, we love this house. It is still very much home, the place where we became a family. It was the house we came home to engaged, and then a year later, came home married to. It was where Ellen became a mother to Adelaide and I learned how to parent with someone else after being a single mama. It's been our oasis, our refuge, our peace. A place for dancing, laughter, fights, makeups, and where we decided to travel together. I have so much more to say on this...but I did promise to keep all of that out of this post and will write on it later.
Our proposed departure date is May 29th, it was initially June 1st, but we have decided to stop and see some friends for a weekend before heading up to our lake cottage in Canada, where we plan to spend two glorious weeks relaxing: reading, taking naps, drinking cocktails at two in the afternoon, kayaking, hiking, and seeing friends. My sister is joining us for a week of it, flying in from Los Angeles, and I'm so excited to see her and share our lake with her. We are looking forward to those two weeks...a sweet and tranquil rest from the past year, and more specifically, the last four months, which have been constant work, every single weekend and nearly every weeknight since January have been spent working on the Airstream. I've never been more physically fit, yet I've also never felt more exhaustion. We hope the time at the cottage will be the perfect transition from our old life to the new, a recharge for us all. We plan to park the Airstream out of sight with some friends at their cottage, across the lake, and just enjoy each other, the quiet, and the sound of trees and the lake lapping. Our brains and bodies need rest desperately.
We are so ready, even if nervous about it all coming together on time. Wish us luck.